Siddiq is SIDDIQ!

Parents being parents... and grandparents being grandparents are proud of their children or grandchildren and of course they love to show and talk about how much their little ones have achieved and excelled.... that is acceptable... but what gets to me is that when they start to COMPARE.... I hate it when they do that... Even as a teacher.. I hate it when teachers start comparing their students without really understanding each of the kids ability and potential or their true talent.

Being a mother of a 8 month old baby doesn't stop me from hearing comments made in comparison... and its worse when THESE FOLKS are talking about my baby. MY SON. I use to get hurt a lot when they started making silly comments. Especially during one of those gatherings where we bring all the kids together and make them play together.

Then I realise these people will always continue to make comments regardless of whatever! As long as you are a young first time mother and considered inexperienced or have a baby that is considered "SLOW" in milestones you are supposedly to take their advice in raising your own kids!

First it started with Siddiq's jaundice... I had to stop taking my herbs back then cause I was told it will affect his jaundice and it will remain high. Then it was his broncholiotis... I had to mix feed him with formula. Then it was his weight problem that I was given advice to stop breastfeeding. And being a paranoid mother I listened to all this blabbing about how to take care of my son for his own good. I was NAIVE. I should have known better.

Now it has come to his development. Siddiq has not started crawling at 8 months going on to 9 months... and its causing others to worry or be a busy body and started giving out their advice. Yes I admit I was worried too that he might be slower than the other babies at his age. Then I come to realise that this boy has gone through a lot and so much, which nobody else witnessed but me, my husband and my mother for at least two months after his birth. For the amount of shit he went through then, he has done lots of catching up and by my own standard and his, he's done well.

They failed to see the achievements that he has done but only concentrate on those he doesn't...

1. He doesn't lift up himself and get on all fours to crawl... but he gets to what or where he wants in other ways... He army crawls or even rolls to the places. That's not a bad thing. At least he moves. Only not in the "normal" way or enough to the liking of those who makes the insensitive comments. They assumed that I didn't put him on the floor enough... I didn't make him crawl towards things he likes..yada yada... truth is... I'VE DONE that.. but I didn't say it cause I know it will just make them say another thing... which is definitely going to hurt more... cause they assume they know better and they are right...

2. He sometimes cries when a kid disturbs him or get a bit more violent with him but often he doesn't retaliates. CAUSE he's not like one of those kids. He's my baby. He's being brought up to be a gentleman not a bully! He's ONE OF A KIND. He don't hit to get his toys. He's happy to just play with another toy and he don't get jealous over toys or parent's attention. He win people hearts with his smiles.

3. When he sits he doesn't move, very inactive. Just play by himself. SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? Just because he doesn't crawl around and jump around like some kind of monkey 24 hours...doesn't mean there's something wrong with him or his development skills. He might be slower or he's just taking things at his own pace. And defintely he prefers the walker to having to crawl by himself. Cause he can be up to more mischief and move around much faster. What I don't understand is why rush babies in their development? What do they have got to do?

4. Where is his teeth? Why are they not growing? Just so YOU KNOW... the faster the teeth grow... the faster it will fall out... So what is the big deal of him having to have his teeth grown as soon as possible? I'm fine with him chomping around the house without teeth for the moment. Fact is the teeth are growing out... it's just not going to be an overnight thing isn it?!

Instead of looking at his slowness of development and at doing things cause he's always a month or so behind, look at his achievements of what he can do... after all he's just a baby.

These people won't see anything or won't see it through my eyes... But I do see my baby...

Do you notice how he is already grabbing at things to pull himself up to standing position?

Do you notice how fast he imitates something that he sees? Like smacking of lips, vibrating his lips, sticking out tongue, clapping of hands, using the spoon to feed himself etc.

Do you notice how he bang whatever things with rythm rather than just random banging?

Do you notice how he actually understands whatever you are saying and actually responds to you? Do you notice how well a conversationalist he is? All you need is time to take notice of his achievements....

And I'm not talking just about my son... I'm sure there are lot of other parents who are in the same shoes as me... whereas there are others who are so eager to show off their baby's fast development. Whichever you are... you have every right to feel how you feel.. but just don't be unfair and start comparing your child with another. One party is bound to get hurt and for those parents with slower babies, don't give up hope or get demoralised and don't condemn your babies as slow. Give them your full support. Somewhere along the lines all the babies will grow up and be whoever they were meant to be... :) As long as you have been a great parent... the results will show...